LAB RAT INVADES BLOG

so i figure i need to take a breather from all the needles, tests, and various poking and prodding that has accompanied the medical marathon we've been running for the past couple of weeks. i think we've set a new record here in the goertzen house - 7 doctors, 12 visits in 21 days.


running the gurney gantlet has given us ample opportunity to discover creative uses for surgical gloves but it has also left us exhausted and stressed out.
so when our beloved hamster Walter Warkentin was discovered MIA last week, my first thought was this is the LAST thing we need.
i can't handle anymore drama or trauma, Lord!
thankfully, much to our joy and immense relief, the prodigal Walter Warkentin was recovered alive...he was dehydrated, exhausted and a little gimpy but very much alive!

nice try, Walter

you can waddle...

but you can't hide!

why i feel so compelled to share this with this rest of the world, i'm not so sure...
maybe because i'm just so attached to the stupid hamster or maybe because i know everyone likes to hear a story that has a happy ending
most likely it has more to do with my weird rodent attachment issues and the fact that i'm dumbfounded that little rat had the nerve to run away from me!


and so, without further ado...
i give a nod to the rodent who has stolen my heart...and probably shaved 5 years off my life with his little houdini act.


walter is actually taylor's hamster. a gift for his 15th birthday. (yes, that was really what he asked for) of course, avery and parker are in love with him too. he's quickly become our "family pet". admittedly though, i'm probably the one who will be most traumatized by his demise when it occurs. he's already over 2 years old so i'm bracing for the inevitable and stockpiling tissue.



you know old walter and i have logged a lot of hours together. there is something very comforting about a cuddly, fuzzy animal when one is not well. hamsters are no exception to that rule. he's a pretty fine fellow and he is my buddy. if you give it some thought, old walt and i really have a lot in common. we keep odd hours, sleep for hours, are both past our prime, don't get out a lot, run in circles, see better in the dark, and like to watch reruns of "What not to wear" and Dr Phil. don't doubt it for a minute!


i've seen his ears perk up at the sound of Dr Phil announcing, "this will be a changing day in your life". and i could tell by the glint in his eye and the twitch of his nose, that he is hamster enough for the task! oh yes, during the long endless months when i am more or less a prisoner of my own body and confined to the couch, lucky old Walter has become my 'pet project' more than once. (funny what herxing will do to one's sanity.) i even attempted to toilet train him. many a time. he actually had a fairly successful run at that for a few weeks at one point.
yes, my best friend is a half potty trained, slightly portly hamster.
is it any wonder i have taken his running away so personally that i feel the need to blog about it?

there is great heated debate in our household as to whether or not Walter is brilliant or just brilliantly plump. he's so plump he's nearly gotten stuck in his tunneling tubes several times. we couldn't figure out why he was getting so fat because he 'exercised' so much - then we discovered that he actually just 'pretends' to run on his exercise wheel -no lie - we caught him red handed sitting beside the wheel just turning it round and round with his front paws. now that's brilliant. he is one slick trickster.

and this week he ran away
why?
well isn't that the million dollar question
why, Walter, why?
i've asked him a hundred times
i'm still waiting for an answer...right now he's too ashamed to even look me in the eye



or maybe, just maybe
he's not answering because his answer is top secret and classified
after all
he only ran away to the bathroom
well, that's where we found him anyway...
along with several strands of spaghetti, a couple kernels of rice, some undistinguishable bits and a single, gnawed on WOBENZYME...




wobenzyme is one of the medications that i am on. i take it for my arthritis and joint inflammation. it is stored way up high, on a shelf, in a closet, in a bottle that has a child proof lid.

graham is convinced that walter is moonlighting as a lab rat
who knows?
that would explain why he's keeping so tight lipped on his escape

at any rate, we'll let you know if his arthritis clears up...