FLUFFY-FLUFFY & THE UNMENTIONABLE

READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED

this post contains content that is not suitable for all readers. 

if you are easily offended, have a weak constitution 
or a heart condition 
the information contained in this post is likely to traumatize you.

proceed with caution

so i mentioned awhile back that fluffy-fluffy was going to be undergoing an unmentionable treatment.

fluffy-fluffy has greatly debated in her own head if the unmentionable was really something she should, could or ought to blog about
the unmentionable is pretty personal after all, and needless to say rather embarrasing
and sigh, it is probably, it is the perfect example of TMI -wayyyyy Too Much Information!

however
she also knows that one can learn from the experience of others and never has that rung more true than in the case of fighting lyme and all the varying therapies involved and endured. after all, a courageous lyme friend told fluffy-fluffy of her own experience with the unmentionable and her encouragement gave fluffy-fluffy the nerve to give it a whirl (thx, MB)

so fluffy-fluffy figures if sharing the unmentionable  benefits and supports another on their road to recovery, than she is willing to take one for the team.
after all, knowledge is power

and yet, fluffy-fluffy still couldn't quite bring herself to write about it...that is, until she remembered that princess diana was a pretty outspoken proponent of the unmentionable
and so without further ado,
fluffy-fluffy will reveal the unmentionable in a post that she is pretty sure will go down in history as a case of TMI...

however
if royalty can speak of such things than certainly fluffy-fluffy can blog about them.

fluffy-fluffy went for a colonic

3 to be exact
all done in an 8 day period

not sure what a colonic is? allow me to enlighten you:

"During a colonic, you lie on an inclined table with a sort of built-in potty at the base, a towel covering your privates. A plastic hose is connected to the irrigation machine on one end, and the other end goes into you via a speculum inserted in the rectum. A hydro therapist oversees the entire procedure, adjusting the volume and temperature of the water, pumping it into you under gentle pressure and lightly massaging your abdomen to work the water through the colon. During several fills and releases, 20 to 30 gallons of water are pumped in and sluiced out through an evacuation hose, washing impacted waste and debris from the colon walls." source - A Thing of Beauty

basically it's up your butt with a rubber hose.

poor fluffy-fluffy!

DR H has been after fluffy-fluffy to do this for over a year now
and she has violently, vehemently resisted

partly out of fear...like heeeellllllooo? who would choose to do that? 

partly out of embarrassment...fluffy-fluffy is modest. she even brought a bathing suit to an anticipated water birth. (don't ask me how she thought that would work.)

partly out of concern...she was worried that it would mess up the one system in her body that actually functions in a healthy normal way. (according to oprah's DR OZ anyway)

and lastly
well come on?
do you even need to ask or think twice about why someone would be reticient to endure a treatment like that!

heellllloooo? we're talking about someone putting a rubber hose up your butt with the expectation that they will be assisting your body in flushing out all sorts of unmentionable matter. and, most embarrassing, all of the, ahem, debris is flushed out through a rubber hose, a very transparent, very visible rubber hose. and horror of horrors they even have a mirror over the bed so that you can watch. oy!

so fluffy-fluffy nervously set out last friday for her first colonic
graham drove her
but he did not accompany her in
heavens no!
this is the one time when support is best done from a distance

and you know what?
it was no big deal
turns out fluffy-fluffy got her shorts all in a knot for no reason at all
it was no big deal
it didn't even hurt at all
really
and
it was incredibly informative and well, interesting
i suppose one needs to have a mild fascination with the inner workings of the human body to say that


and you know what else?
colonics really do not have a lot to do with poop
oh sure, poop is part of it
but that is not all
toxic foamy debris, stagnant lymph and dead bacteria are expelled
and
that is pretty spectacular
quite frankly, a sight to behold in my books
because their decaying remnants are as much a death trap to my body as the toxicity they expelled when alive
goodbye dead borrelia, goodbye dead babesia

we found you hiding in the inner most reaches of my colon, we pumped water up my descending colon, across my transverse colon and down the ascending colon until we found you hiding in my cecum (the cul-de-sac of the colon). a toxic load holed up and sucking the life out of my long suffering liver but now we've got you cornered with a rubber hose and we're going to flush you out with 20 gallons of water.


goodbye and good riddance


fluffy-fluffy noticed a difference in her overall puffiness after the first colonic. by the second, her lymph massage therapist was astounded by the difference in her swelling and the texture of her skin. the third time, fluffy-fluffy's body released an exorbitant amount of toxic debris...and the pain and the bubble wrap like texture that could be felt under the skin on the right side of her abdomen released and is gone.

so fluffy-fluffy is pretty impressed with the outcome, thus far
she could easily become a colonics pusher
try it and you'll see!
she might even start a fan page on facebook
but really
one should not do it unless advised to by your doctor
some doctors pooh-pooh colonics

but
DR H has been pushing fluffy-fluffy to do a series of colonics since april of last year!
so what finally made her follow his advice?

well, she's also seeing DR D now and DR D just flat out told her she HAD to do it. DR D said she rarely recommends them for patients but fluffy-fluffy absolutely needed to do it because her body is burdened with a toxic load that is stressing her liver and kidneys. DR D was pretty sure that fluffy-fluffy's tired little liver is so overburdened and that is what is probably causing some of her swelling.


first DR H
then DR D


both telling insisting that fluffy-fluffy get her butt to a colonics expert


so now she's done it. and has a few more to go. as per DR Ds recommendations. so has it provided any sort of lasting benefit in helping to resolve fluffy-fluffy's puffiness? she sure hopes so. time will tell.
it seems to have so far made a fairly significant difference in fluffy-fluffy's puffiness
that is a welcome change

who would have thought that pumping 20 to 40 gallons of water into fluffy-fluffy's colon would actually decrease her overall girth?
interesting.

you know what else fluffy-fluffy learned?

according to the colonics practitioner, she has a strong body and a very co-operative colon. how many people can say that? wonder if old fluff should put that on a resume? naht! however it sure was nice to hear someone say she has a strong body. and you know what? fluffy-fluffy believed her. she does have a strong body. it's been through a lot.




one last thing, i might add about the benefits about colonics
i believe princess di credited them with her youthful appearance

i only had 2 colonics under my belt, when i had to take taylor to a doctor's appointment. taylor is my 17 year old son.  we were sitting in the doctor's office and a gentleman leaned over and asked me if taylor was my husband.


taylor was mortified. i was jubilant.


i think princess di was on to something.

CONGRATULATIONS!

if you are reading this, it means you have survived my attempt at a semi educational read on the unmentionable. for more detailed information on all that is involved in undergoing a colonic, i would recommend the very informative and hilarious read "A Thing of Beauty"