NERVOUS NELLIE & THE PALATIAL COTTAGE

so we've spent the last several days hibernating in our friend's "cabin".

cabin.
ha ha
i get the giggles every time they refer to it as a cabin.
to me, the word "cabin" conjures up images of a pretty primitive, bare basics sort of dwelling.
this is not that. not by a long shot.

it's more like a palatial cottage
and
even that description somehow falls short



this is our second stay at the palatial cottage...and after the first time, i'm surprised they let us come back. i'm actually just surprised by these friends period. profoundly. can you believe that the first time they sent us to this beautiful place we were mere strangers to them? yes, really! we had yet to meet when they opened their palatial cottage to us.

The Nagy Family
Lisa, Kerry, Julia, (avery) and Oliver

lisa and i first spoke via telephone 2 or 3 or so years ago (neither of us can exactly remember when.) but we do remember why and how we were brought together) lyme brought us together. lisa has lyme too. and she found my name and number listed on an internet lyme support group site. and she called to talk. about lyme, doctors and the whole debacle. if i recall correctly, we just spoke that one time. i guess at some point during that one time conversation, i ended up giving her the address to my blog. and that was pretty much it. we'd exchange emails here and there. just short little blurps of 'thinking of you' and 'praying for you' and from time to time, lisa would send me the most encouraging devotionals. but with both of us being sick and all, our contact was pretty limited and sporadic. somehow, it was enough to just know someone else was out there and knew what it was like to be a mom and have lyme.

then last spring, just after the boys got diagnosed, lisa emailed me.

"we have a little cabin and we'd love for your family to go spend some time up there"

wow. we couldn't believe it.
i mean who offers their (essentially) home to virtual strangers?
and
then
we
saw
the
place
and
nearly
had
a
heart attack

this was no cabin. more like the home of my dreams. and it was nestled in the midst of a whole little community of "cabins" complete with a magnificent clubhouse and 2 pools and a fishing pond.
and these folks entrusted us with this?

clubhouse and pool deck

wow. we were totally blown away and in an instant, i transformed into a nervous nellie.
seriously, the place was gorgeous. the "cabin" was pristine and looked like something out of a magazine. i was PARANOID we would wreck something. keep in mind we had also arrived with 2 extra kids in tow. taylor's girlfriend, mara, and dave, his BFF. ok, so they're pretty much more adult than kid (at least mara is) but at any rate, more bodies increased the odds that something would end up broken.

the fishing pond

sure enough.
not even 5 minutes into our stay - avery ran through the screen on the front door. i nearly had a coronary.
this launched me into full fledged,shrieking nervous nellie mode;
"take your shoes off at the door!"
"no food allowed out of the kitchen - better yet, just eat outside."
"sit on the floor not on the furniture."
"and don't use the glassware"
"and for pete's sake, try not to drool on the pillowcases while you sleep"

i think i may have just stopped short of
don't eat, don't drink, don't play, don't breathe, don't touch anything. period.

what happens the minute you are paranoid about something happening?
IT happens
that's life
especially when teenage boys are in the house
and
nerf guns
and
ceiling fans
that is a recipe for disaster

and what, just exactly what are the chances that a nerf gun suction-cup bullet is going to land top side up on top of the blade of ceiling fan that is 25 feet off the ground?

only in my world would that happen

and so began the task of trying to get it off.
asinine as it may sound, at first we tried shooting it off with more nerf bullets
and
admittedly, even i got into that action
how could i not?
i was determined to show up the boys as the marksman to beat
after all, girls can be nerf gun snipers too
it ended up turning into a 2 hour epic battle between parker, taylor, dave and i
no one hit the mark
(altho' I came the closest)
in fact, our poor marksmanship only created another problem...the rest of the stupid nerf gun bullets were now stuck on the wall - the way up high, out of reach sort of stuck on the wall

so the boys starting throwing balled up socks at them
and then IT happened
a balled up sock ended up on top of one of the ceiling beams
what are the chances of THAT happening?

only in MY world

look carefully and you'll see the sock on the beam which is adjacent to the ceiling fan the bullet adhered to

the boys tried getting it down by throwing another sock at it
that one ended up perched beside the first one
only in MY WORLD would THAT happen

now i had a bullet stuck on the fan
and
two socks perched on the beam
and
i just stood their staring up at it all, alternating between hysterically laughing and hysterically shrieking,

"you guys, we have got to stop. i have a feeling something bad is gonna happen"

as i stood there giggling, i thought that it looked like the light fixture in the middle of the fan was the tiniest, teensiest bit askew
but
i told myself i was just being paranoid and imagining things
but
i had a very bad feeling about it
and
you know, mother's have a 6th sense about things

"stop" i said, half laughing, half serious, "that fixture doesn't look secure!"

"oh, mom, you're so paranoid." came their reply and they took another shot at the stubborn bullet stuck to the fan.

disobedient brats! - ok, i don't suppose that's totally fair - after all, i'd been playing right along with them up until that point.
"no, really." i said trying to sound authoritative above the mirth in my voice. "stop."

"no, guys, really, i'm serious. stop. no more." i screeched, with almost a straight face, "stop. enough already. there is a bullet on the fan, 2 socks on the beams and the fan does not appear stable - and neither is the mother anymore."

i only hoped that lisa and family wouldn't notice when they came up for a visit. yes. that's right. we were finally going to meet them, this precious, unassuming family who loaned us their palatial cottage were due to arrive. the very next day.

and then IT, the very thing i'd had the bad feeling about, happened
dave and taylor were lying on the area rug (who told them they could be on the rug anyway?) and the light fixture portion of the ceiling fan came crashing down
it nearly landed right on taylor's head...missed by mere inches


i nearly burst into tears
and
not because my kid nearly got beaned on the head by a 5 pound glass projectile falling from the sky

i screeched for graham
and
started ringing my hands
and
pacing the floor

fluke of all flukes of all the flukes of that day, the glass fixture didn't break
but how in the world were we going to get it back up there, wayyyyyyy up there
and
we only had 24 hours before the nagy family were due to arrive

i thought i would die
even graham, who is rarely ruffled by anything, turned into a nervous nellie
we needed a ladder
and quick
but where on earth do you find a telescoping ladder?
that's not exactly something folks keep on hand

we tried procuring a ladder
graham ran to and fro
asking at other cottages and asking the maintenance guy at the pool
but no ladder could be found
we had to accept defeat
and
we knew we'd have to fess up to the owners we had never met

nervous nellie nearly had a nervous breakdown

can you imagine?
we already were wondering how this first epic meeting was going to go. i mean, we'd never met before and here we were having them for dinner at their house!
that alone had the potential to be pretty awkward
and
now, we've got to run damage control?
how do you tell someone you've just met that you've wrecked their home?
do you just casually mention it or keep quiet and just hope that they never notice that their fan fell out of the ceiling and there's a multitude of socks on the ceiling beams?

i had visions of them kicking us to the curb that night
"pack up your bags and just go" they'd say in a shell shocked haze and we'd all ashamedly file past them our heads hung low, shoulders slumped

so they arrived
and
a funny thing happened

the instant we met, we felt like we had known them forever
kindred spirits or something like that
but
warmth, fellowship, and easy camaraderie aside
it still took awhile to tell them about the fan, the socks and the bullet
i thought it best if we served them several glasses of their wine before we fed them the line,
"by the way, we have a funny story to tell you..."


eventually, we 'fessed up
they just laughed and took it in stride
amazing people
really amazing people
and
amazingly enough, they've let us come back!

and this time around,
no nervous nellies were to be found


i've totally relaxed and let things just fall as they might
and
guess what?

no ceiling fans were shot down,
no light fixtures dropped out of the sky,
no socks have gone awol,
and
no nerf gun bullets have gone array

of course, we've still got one more day before we leave...
and
one of my slippers has gone missing...