MAYHEM IS COMING

have you seen those mayhem is coming commercials for allstate insurance?
they are the most hilarious ads ever.
there is a whole series of them...but here's a compilation of them:



mayhem is coming...
sometimes i feel like that
i'm just not sure whether I'M the mayhem or i just attract the mayhem.

at any rate, this week mayhem followed me at every turn.

i know i should have packed it in and gone into hiding after the packing peanut incident.
at the very least, it should've been my first warning that things were about to go from bad to worse.

it started with the side table in our living room breaking. okay. that one can't be solely pinned on me. i didn't do it. my husband did. he says he only put one finger on it - oh, sure...one feathery light touch and whoosh... the whole table collapsed.

naturally, the big glass hurricane candle holder that was on it didn't survive the crash. and the lamp that was on it is no longer working.

so there is a pile of rubble in my living room and while i'm not the one who did it, i was in the general vicinity when it occurred. therefore, it is plausible to conclude that i am somehow culpable.

it should come as no surprise then that later that day, a hundred pound counter top happened to land on my foot. (bizarre sounding i know...but that is mayhem for you)

it put a hole in my favorite pair of boots
and
broke 3 of my toes.
yes.
3.
and
yes, i'm more concerned about the hole in my boots.

the following day, i started to see stars.



were the stars just a delayed response to my smashed toes?
nope.
just the warning aura that i was getting a migraine headache.
lovely.

the following day, someone in texas went shopping with our credit card.
lovely.

i'm sort of glad this week has come to an end.
but
the weird thing about it is that i've actually felt pretty good.
i think the cold and flu thing has resolved.
finally!
and my lyme symptoms have simmered down to a dull roar.
finally!
so despite the destruction of some living room furniture, the hole in my boot, my broken toes, a migraine headache and the pain in the butt credit card fraud, i actually feel the best i've felt in a very long while.

and i'm thrilled to be well enough to head out to my friend's birthday party tonight.
girl's night out!
i haven't been out with a gaggle of girls in EONS.

I CAN'T WAIT.
5 hours til my ETA...
watch out girls, mayhem is coming.