so this is me after i got stung by a wasp yesterday...
i know. clearly a bit dramatic.
but, in my defense, it was no regular, run-of-the-mill sting nor standard reaction.
Oh NO, of course it was NOT NORMAL AT ALL because I am Queen Bee of peculiar and bizarre things happening to me.
(and just so you know, as it turns out, taking selfies is a pretty effective distraction for pain.)
i was out for a walk in our neighbourhood park and a wasp plowed into my face...actually, to be exact, it flew with pin point precision right up under my glasses and got stuck between the arm of my glasses and my temple. No lie.
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES?
clearly, it did not appreciate the shaded UV protection offered by my specs, as it immediately backed its butt into my temple and stung me.
i reacted by screeching loudly, whipping off my glasses & frantically slapping myself upside the head. despite my ninja like moves, the stinging continued & this odd electric shock-like burning pain began rapidly spreading across my face. i had no idea if this was normal or the start of an anaphylactic reaction so i panicked. then i did the next logical thing - i made a bee-line for home...and i did not retreat quietly nor gracefully.
nope. not at all. shrieking trilly, with my arms flailing and karate-chopping the air, i half-walked/half-jogged through the park as fast as my on rubbery, shaky legs could carry me. i left stunned, mouth-gaping park goers in my wake.
i made a spectacular sight. in fact, i'm almost certain i darn near nailed the running style of Phoebe Buffay from Friends
by the time, i haphazardly stumbled into my house, my face was ON FIRE. the pain was radiating into my jaw and the entire left side of my face had this odd numb, swollen, burning sensation. i was sure my face & head must be astronomically puffing up.
i texted the Hubster to come immediately;
'SOS - I got stung by a wasp. in bad pain. come quick. FYI - don't be alarmed but pretty sure my head is swollen the size of a watermelon.'
then i took a deep breath and bravely checked my face in the mirror hanging in our entrance.
there was one, teeny tiny, very minuscule red dot at the sight of the sting.
no swelling. no angry redness. no splotchiness. no hives.
not even one itty bitty bit of puffiness.
i looked nothing like how i felt.
ironic how bug bites have a way of doing that to me.
despite my normal appearance, my face was burning something fierce, so i made a bee-line for an ice pack.
the hubster appeared then. and i told him how that wasp so precisely flew directly into that spot between my head and glasses. and how it stung me and how bad my head was burning and how choked i was that i had NOTHING to show for my pain.
"Like, what are the chances?!" I exclaimed.
to which he dismissively replied, "Actually, that probably happens more often then you'd think."
and i indignantly huffed, "NO WAY! This is NOT normal. This is rare - my experience is UNIQUE. Flukey things ONLY happen to ME. Do NOT take THAT away from me."
and my girl, overhearing our conversation, gasps "AWH poor thing!"
and right as i'm ready to bask in the light of her sympathy she continued, "She must have been so scared when she got stuck in your glasses. No wonder she stung you."
The Stinging Take-aways;
- my girl values the emotional distress of a wasp more than my physical pain
- i have a propensity for acquiring bug bites that give me pain that is invisible to the naked eye
- taking selfies is an effective pain management technique
- i could be a stunt-double for Lisa Kudrow
- i have had very intense noise sensitivity and brain fog for the past week and a bit. interestingly, 6 hours post-sting, those symptoms suddenly lifted. i am now 24 hours post-sting and am still brain fog and noise sensitivity free. coincidence? maybe or maybe not.
i am currently researching bee venom therapy for lyme disease. i'll keep you posted.