ABNORMAL IS MY NEW NORM

since my ABNORMAL MRI results came back
abnormal has become my new norm

last week, i spent the better part of a morning in the lab
donating what seemed like half my blood
tube after tube drained from my arm

and now the test results are rolling in

ABNORMAL test results.

which is new.
most lymies look healthy on paper.
i'm used to feeling like death warmed over
yet
having labs and tests
steadily yield 'normal' results.

apparently, things have changed.
abnormal is the new norm

still not sure what any of it means...
probably won't know until all results are back

having more tests done today

i continue to be off of treatment
waiting to hear from DR H whether or when we will re-start.

i had some 'ok' days over the weekend which was a nice change...
given how horribly horrible the last several weeks have been
having a few bearable days actually felt strangely abnormal...but nice.

abnormal is my new norm

abnormal and worrisome
abnormal and anxious
abnormal and scary

abnormal and questioning
abnormal and waiting
abnormal and wondering

abnormal BUT trusting
abnormal BUT fearless (for momentary moments!)


abnormal is my new norm

Isaiah 43:1-2,5

¹ But now, this is what the LORD says—
he who created you,
he who formed you,
"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

² When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
you will not be burned;
the flames will not set you ablaze...

⁵ ...Do not be afraid, for I am with you