November 8, 2010


there no words to describe what our last 36 hours have been like.

all i can say is that parker is suffering greatly. 

i want to respect his privacy, yet let folks know enough that they understand the urgency of our request for prayer.

his symptoms and behavior are similar to mine and what i wrote about in my post "shattered". the only real difference is that my episodes were much shorter in duration. last nite, we were up until 3am with him...he slept a few hours on the couch with graham and was up by 9am this morning and his symptoms have not calmed down.

he cannot be left alone. it is very serious. he is experiencing extreme psychiatric symptoms and is in agonizing joint pain. all of this is terrifying. however, we are in touch with our doctors so it is not that we are not dealing with this without medical supervision.  parker is at the 6 week mark of IV treatment. medically, it is well-documented that a patient can have a very extreme herx at this point.

but never, ever could we even fathom that it would be like this. even after what i have gone thru. we knew it could get bad, but this is beyond anything you could ever consider.

there really are no words i can find to articulate what we are trying to live thru right now. 
it is beyond words. 
it is beyond belief. 
it is beyond terrifying. 
it is beyond horrifying.
it is not beyond HOPE.

all nite, all that kept coming to me was the words (verse) 
"no authority, no power, no principalities shall stand against you"

i knew it totally was not the whole version of the verse and i couldn't remember it but in the chaos, it was not remotely possible to look it up, but i just kept repeating that phrase over and over. now as i sat down to put out this plea for prayer, i thought i need to look up that passage in scripture right now because i need to include it in this post. even if just for my own benefit of reading and writing it and absorbing it.

i had already written all of the above BEFORE i read the passage.
i wept and am weeping as i write this. weeping in joy and adoration and humility of my heavenly father and how He speaks to me and shows me His love even when i don't feel like i can "see" Him in the midst of this hell.

i will praise Him in the midst of this hell. for He is God and He is good. the hand of the Almighty covers us and by His Grace, we hold firm.

please pray for us as we wait and yearn and plead for God to intercede. we know He will. but it is so hard, so painful, so beyond to bear the wait.

25But if we hope for what is still unseen by us, we wait for it with patience and composure.
    26So too the [Holy] Spirit comes to our aid and bears us up in our weakness; for we do not know what prayer to offer nor how to offer it worthily as we ought, but the Spirit Himself goes to meet our supplication and pleads in our behalf with unspeakable yearnings and groanings too deep for utterance.

30And those whom He thus foreordained, He also called; and those whom He called, He also justified (acquitted, made righteous, putting them into right standing with Himself). And those whom He justified, He also glorified [raising them to a heavenly dignity and condition or state of being].
    31What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?]
    32He who did not withhold or spare [even] His own Son but gave Him up for us all, will He not also with Him freely and graciously give us all [other] things?

35Who shall ever separate us from Christ's love? Shall suffering and affliction and tribulation? Or calamity and distress? Or persecution or hunger or destitution or peril or sword?
    36Even as it is written, For Thy sake we are put to death all the day long; we are regarded and counted as sheep for the slaughter.
    37Yet amid all these things we are more than conquerors and gain a surpassing victory through Him Who loved us.
    38For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things. impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers,
    39Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord - Romans 8:25-39


E. Ayn said...

I am praying. your faith is strong and the Lord knows your words even when you aren't sure you've got it right.

i am praying. your sister in Christ, beth

Julieslymediseasefight said...

Thinking of you all. Keep fighting!!!

Renee said...

Just so you know, you have been and still are in my prayers. May God continue to speak to you during this terrible time and may His healing touch be upon Parker bring Him both relief and strength...I feel your pain, I hear your concern, and like others I care and will lift you all up in prayer as often as God brings you to mind.

Jude said...

crying, praying and rejoicing that He is meeting you there with such perfection in this dark hour. Lord hasten the dawn for this precious family!