June 5, 2012


NO, the coo-coo is is not another attempt at articulating human noises thru prose.
NO, i've not gone cuckcoo
i was nearly driven cuckcoo by a coo-coo.

while we were in SF, we spent pretty much 2 whole days at DR H's office. the first day, we were there for 6 hours straight. the second visit lasted just over 4 hours. the length of the visits was due, in part, to the IVs i was put on. they take 2 hours to infuse. our second visit and appointment with DR H went longer than expected and ended on a rather low point. we were emotionally drained at the end of it and all we wanted to do was head back to the hotel and crash. graham and i were desperate for some quiet in order to process all that had been discussed during our appointment.

yet, we still faced another 2 hours in the IV clinic that is part of DR H's office. we hunkered down in the clinic while nurse jim mixed my IV and then prepped and accessed my vein for my infusion. at some point during this process, the sound of coo-cooing faintly filtered in thru the walls of the clinic. great, just great. evidently a pigeon with lots to say had taken up residence somewhere just outside the window. before long, it had amped up the volume. nice. 

coo-coo coo-coo COO-COO-COO coo-coo COO-coo

the constant droning coo-cooing went on endlessly. the thing would not shut up. initially it was just slightly irritating. but as the minutes ticked by, the coo-cooing became louder and louder until it had intensified into a frenzied state of coo-coos. clearly, the thing was worked up over something and it was impossible to ignore.

graham and nurse jim began to "interpret" the coo-cooing. of course, their comments leaned on the exaggerated scenario of a husband and wife dialogue. you know, the stereotypical "poor beleaguered man being hen pecked by his wife" scenario. i tried to act appropriately miffed over such blatant chauvinism but it was actually pretty funny.

at some point during their pigeon translation services graham began to impersonate mr rogers. honestly, my husband does the BEST mr rogers voice EVER. i think he sounds more like mr rogers than mr rogers did himself.

it is actually quite creepy. he methodically and slowly drawled into an intro speech, 
"hello boys and girls, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. won't you be my neighbor? well friends, today we're going to learn about a special friend of the sky. sometimes, if we're lucky enough they live in our neighborhood. also, our word of the day is a big long one...strangulation."

of course, then mr rogers launched into a PG-13 rendition of pigeons in the neighborhood. i'll spare you the details.

terrible. i know.
terribly hilarious.

honestly, we were all ready to strangle our neighborhood pigeon. we had good reason. by this point, it had been carrying on for at least 30 minutes. the incessant "coo-coo, coo-coo, coo-coo" was so insanely nerve grinding that IT would have driven even poor mr rogers round the bend.

it certainly was driving us cuckoo.  

finally, we'd all had enough.

graham got up to see if he could find it. he opened the window and after a bit of awkward neck craning to search the surrounding ledges, he spotted the feathered offender. 

dropping the mr rogers drawl, he lilted into a scottish accent, he pleasantly bequeathed the pigeon, 
"hello pigeon. could you please tone it down a tad, lad?" 

now, he says it turned to look at him and had the nerve to smugly coo-coo right in his face.

i don't know if this is true or not...all i know is that all of a sudden, he nearly launched out of the window and whilst remaining true to his scottish impersonation, he belted at the top of his lungs...

"shut your pie hole you wee blasted creature of the air!"

and all went blessedly quiet. 

i suspect the pigeon is planning for our return in august.

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