September 7, 2008


Taylor has started grade 11.
Parker has started grade 4
And Avery starts her first official day of kindergarten tomorrow.
All my babies are now in school.

I became a mom young. As in just graduated high school young. As a result, I never went to college or university. Not because I couldn't have. I just felt I had to make a choice. For me, choosing to parent meant making motherhood my full time career. And I have never, not for one single moment ever regretted that choice.

Fast forward 11 years. Taylor was in school full time. Parker was in Preschool. And I was getting a small taste of child free time which gave me some freedom to explore some other career paths - apart from being a mom. But I also felt like our family was not complete. Once again, I felt I had a choice to make. For me, dividing my time and energies between home and career meant one or the other would suffer. I did not feel I could wholeheartedly give myself to both. And so I chose to make motherhood my full time career a little longer. And I'm so glad I did. God gave us Avery. Our family would not be complete without her.

I have been incredibly fortunate to have had the privilege of more or less being able to be home full time with my kids. Being a stay at home mom is more than just my chosen profession. It is my calling, my passion, my purpose. However, this year marks the end of an era. My kids are no longer home full time. And so my job description has shifted. My kids still need a full time mom but I just happen to have a lot more kid free time.

So, this was supposed to be "The Year".

The year I could pursue my passion for all things creative.
The year I would have the freedom to expand my horizons.
The year I could expand my sense of purpose.
The year I could earn a full time pay cheque.
And this was the year we thought we'd finally financially get 'ahead'.
Okay, that's probably a bit of a stretch...
This was the year we hoped to start making a dent in our debt.

I've spent some time this week thinking about "The Year". At first glance, it didn't appear to be shaping up to be what I planned for it to be...

Obviously, I won't be pursuing a new career. My new full time job is fighting Lyme. And it doesn't pay very fact, it costs me a lot of money to do it. We're incurring debt rather than paying it down but God is still taking care of us. Our needs are being met. We have been humbled by the ways in which God provides. An anonymous gift last Sunday and a cheque we received in the mail this week reminded me of how truly blessed we are in spite of it all.

And obviously, expanding my horizons and pursuing some of my creative aspirations haven't appeared to be compatible with new full time Lyme career. And then I received an email this week. And it radically changed my perspective. It came all the way from the other side of Canada. From a woman I do not know. But she is a fellow 'lymie' who was forwarded my little blog. She thanked me for sharing my story. She told me it inspired her and reminded her that she is not alone.

That email made my day and helped me to realize something. My little blog has become my creative outlet. And through it, God is expanding my horizons. And if sharing my story can help someone to find hope and encouragement than that brings a new sense of purpose to my life.

The Year has barely started and God has already seen fit to fulfill the desires I had for it.

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