September 6, 2008


The Gravity Defying Week.

Overall, this week has been rough. Out of this world rough. I have been herxing. I have had a whole meteor shower of ugly symptoms rain down on me.

I have been surrounded by a gravitational force field so strong that it left me encapsulated on my couch. This force field hijacked my energy and my mind. My fatigue has been so profound that I could have stepped foot on the moon without a space suit and they still would have had to scrape me off the surface.

I even broke the cardinal rule - I missed a dose of abx. In 16 months of treatment, no matter how sick or miserable I was, I have NEVER missed a dose. Never. This week I did.

While my body has been tied to my couch by this freakishly unearthly gravitational pull, my mind has been free floating through space. I have had a million thoughts swirling through my head but my ability to reign them in long enough to cohesively form a sentence has eluded me. I've tried to write but I have just laid here, blankly staring at my screen.

My neuropathies have been out of this world on the richter scale of pain. Ever tightly squeezed an ice cube in your hand? The icy cold painful burning sensation that that produces is what my nerve pain feels like to me. Full body. No relief. No release. An incessant barrage of icy burning, tingling pain.

And then there were the drenching night sweats. Internal head pressure. Ringing ears. Swelling joints. Shortness of breath. Criss crossing eyes. Quivering kidneys, liver and collicky gallbladder. Twitching, twittering muscles and limbs. Come to think of it, I suspect these crazy body hijinx are similar to the sensations that astronauts experience upon re-enty into earth. (minus the profuse sweating - they'd drown in their space suit).

I suppose each day of treatment brings me one step closer on my journey to re-entry too.

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