May 9, 2009

I HATE PANTYHOSE!

It's my baby cuz' s wedding today
and i am well enough to go!

and rather than just basking in the joy of being able, i am preoccupied with a serious dilemma.

to hose or not to hose
that is the million dollar question

i HATE pantyhose with all my heart
however
the RESULTS that putting on a pair of pantyhose can deliver are none to one

it is truly a miracle the degree of constriction and compression that can be attained by their torturous silky sheerness.

but even still,
i HATE pantyhose
glorified body armor is what they are
oh the things that us women endure for the sake of 'beauty'
psshhtt!

i'd like to think after everything that i have been through in the past 3 years that by now i'd be a little more evolved than to worry about such frivolous and superficial things as sucking in and smoothing out or lifting and seperating my cheeks from my thighs...

and in all seriousness that thought actually gave way to a moment of self reprisal
until it dawned on me...

the fact that i actually care about how i look
is actually another sign that i am getting better
and
the fact that i would even remotely consider or entertain the thought of giving up comfort for the sake of looking good?
wow, after spending most of the past 3 years in oversize t-shirts and baggy track pants, the panty hose dilemma is actually a healthy sign!

but i'm not quite there....
anything too tight or constrictive just isn't tolerable or doable....yet

and so
in a fit of deranged rebellion, i have cut up all my control top pantyhose, and in an act of womanly defiance and divine inspiration, i turned those fishnets into a blinged out PICC Line cover


and now excuse me if you will, i'm about to shove my swollen bare toes into a pair of killer heels and march myself and my uncontrolled jiggly bits to my baby cuz's wedding...

and i will laugh and love and live
why?
because i am ABLE...

and i am so very excited to get to spend an evening with the incredible extended family that i simply adore

and you know what?

i know they love me, too....jiggly bits and all


PS

EMILY - you were simply stunning...and seeing that i was hose-less i can honestly say that it was YOU who took my breathe away!

Congratulations and much love to you and Rob!

xoxo






1 comment:

Renee said...

I had a good laugh over this one! I gave up pantyhose years ago even though I am certainly in need of something to hold in all this overabundance ....on my body!
I just know a man must have invented them and had no clue what it takes to put them on...
My sister used to even wear them with jeans!
I don't dye my hair, wear makeup pantyhose, or most types of material...I have never looks so "real" or is that bad??? but I am comfortable!
Glad you were well enough to go to your cousins wedding. How great is that!
Renee