May 29, 2009


"Thank you that i am part of a vast army of people who live in full faced touch with your son and move your mighty hand to bring about your gracious purposes. thank you that our influence and our victories are not by human might or power but by your spirit."
(31 Days of Praise - Ruth Myers)

i am grateful for the prayers of so many.

they were definately felt on tuesday when i went for my mri. it was a long and difficult day but i also recongnize that it could have been a lot worse.

i've had several folks touch base wiwth me this week to let me know that they have committed to praying for our family everyday. i cannot even begin to express how encouraging i have found this. i am amazed to still have people willing to stand with us through this nightmare.

this has been a tough week. REALLY, REALLY HARD. at times, this journey is so beyond difficult. and overwhelming. and painful. and lonely.
incredibly lonely.
so it is good to know there are people earnestly praying.
it is comforting to hear that.

in the last 36 hours there has been some improvement with my mobility issues and air hunger, but other issues are arising...and they have caused great concern

it is quite apparent that my body is just not holding up under this recent attack -

bottom line, my body is screaming in distress - whether this is due to the disease or the treatment or a combo of both is not known...

but today the decision was made to cease my treatment

my condition will be re-assessed in a week

how do i feel about this?

to be honest, i am struggling with it.

i'm conflicted yet at peace?

if that makes sense...

albeit i don't know that much of anything ever makes sense with this disease.

lyme is an excruciatingly cavernous abyss of unknowns...

it is only thru the power of prayer and praise that i am able to keep trusting god and find refuge in this abyss

Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy on me,
for in you my soul takes refuge.
I will take refuge in the shadow of your wings
until the disaster has passed.

I cry out to God Most High,
to God, who fulfills {his purpose} for me.

He sends from heaven and saves me,
rebuking those who hotly pursue me;

God sends his love and his faithfulness.

I am in the midst of lions;
I lie among ravenous beasts—
men whose teeth are spears and arrows,
whose tongues are sharp swords.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

They spread a net for my feet—
I was bowed down in distress.
They dug a pit in my path—
but they have fallen into it themselves.

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.

Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.

For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.

Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.

-Psalm 57


Renee said...

I am so sorry you are going through so very much. Please know that my prayers are added to the many you know who are praying for you.
I am reflecting some of what you are saying here as I am back to full time in bed or on the sofa so weak and discouraged myself as it is like day one again.
God is with us, He does have a plan for us. We have great courage in this battle and sometimes retreat is okay too. Our bodies fight gallantly for us too. May God hold you in His arms and give you peace.

Nancy M. said...

Don't give up. Please don't give up. ♥

Jennifer said...

Would you like to be featured on my praying for lymies blog?

Anonymous said...

We have nothing to give but prayers. Trusting, Praying and continually Hoping! Knowing that no journey is not without reason but not being in the valley WITH you it is easier said. Knowing that GOD is with you and HE is all you need. Knowing He is a gentleman and always keeps His promises. Song from service this am..Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord...wait upon the Lord. Ken, Patti & Emilie Redekopp

Betty said...

You are an inspiration to many as you share not only the darkness of this journey through Lyme Disease, but also the hope & faith you have in Jesus to carry you through . Your faith, hope and tendacity in holding on to His Promises in remarkable. Thank You for the example in Praying through the Abyss.God is faithful- God will restore the years the locusts have eaten. Love & Blessings Betty