May 25, 2009
MRI AND ESCORTATION
I am going for my MRI tomorrow
please pray for this
obviously, i have some anxiety over what this could reveal...
at this point
i am more concerned about just making it to the appointment and enduring the MRI
i cannot move around without incredible pain
walking is agonizing and fatiguing
being upright leaves me breathless, sweaty, shaking, twitching
and makes my heart race uncontrollably
if i push myself hard, i can tolerate sitting up for about an hour MAX
the only thing i have been out of bed, off the couch or out of the house for in the past 10 days is my detox and doctor appointments
all of which have required ESCORTATION
i doubt escortation is actually a word
but sometimes my brain malfunctions and i say wierd things or can't find the right word in my head
so apprently the other day i said "escortation" when i meant "escort"
after graham figured it out, he thought that that was very funny
ha ha. not.
but stress can make you a little hysterical.
after "correctly" using "escort" in a public setting...as in saying...
"i need an escort";
"i'm going out with an escort";
"i am waiting for my escort to pick me up."
"your pillow is in the car. your seat is reclined. your escort is ready for you."
that sounds far more scandolous and embarassing to me than using a word that is non existent in the english language....
voila, escortation is born.
and well, i have to find a way to laugh about this otherwise i'd just cry
i hate this
i cannot drive
i cannot walk without help and support
i hate feeling helpless
the reality is that we NEED help
i need help
heavens, i need an entire "escortation team"
i've had to rely on my mom, my M-I-L, my friend
and of course Graham
when 'heavy lifting' is in order
(me being the 'lifted' -but, EXCUSE ME i'm blaming the heavy part on my lymph fluid)
my escortation team is such a blessing
everyone is very gracious
but i know that they are overwhelmed by the need
and stressed out and tired out
and with no relief in sight, we could all use a whole lotta prayer
thx to those of you who have sent messages of encouragement in response to my last post, your encouragemnt and support mean more to me and lift me up more than i can adequately express.