December 11, 2009

FLUFFY-FLUFFY DRIVES DR H CRAZY

Fluffy-Fluffy aka Sandeep aka Shannon had an appointment with DR H yesterday. Naturally, the topic at the top of the list to discuss was Fluffy-Fluffy's fluffiness. DR H wanted to know how her jelly belly has been since she bitterly removed her navel ring.

she begrudgingly admitted that the swelling in her belly has significantly gone down.

DR H smiled smugly and reminded her how right he was about that. then he made some cheeky comment about how he just " hates having to tell patients what to wear."

"oh brother" came Fluffy-Fluffy's sarcastic but weak retort.

"
aw shucks, i'm so sorry i was so right about that." DR H cheekily grinned.

psshhht! Fluffy-Fluffy half expected him to start pumping the air with his fist and yelling, "I was right. I was right!"

Fluffy-Fluffy gave DR H his little moment and then she struck back, "LOOK AT ME! my face is ENORMOUS! and i'm stuck wearing stretch pants! I am puffy and fluffy. Sure, my stomach has shrunk...but that is just because it headed north and south...and drained into both sets of my cheeks!"


yes, it is true, confirmed upon exam, Fluffy-Fluffy has once again blown up. Her face has puffed up and so has her, ahem, lower half. ultrasounds and blood test have revealed her kidneys and spleen are swollen and under duress due to the overload of bunged up stagnant lymph fluid trapped in her body. trying to figure out what to do with Fluffy-Fluffy's fluffiness nearly drove DR H crazy!

he sat there in his chair perplexed, repeatedly running his hands through his hair and grimacing. intermittently he would tap his head with his pen and heave and sigh. when that rendered no solution, he began ferociously chomping on his pen, shifting his feet to and fro and staring hard at Fluffy-Fluffy. and then he got THAT look. that crazed, 'i know what i'm going to do with you and you are probably not going to like it' look. then he got up and started chasing Fluffy-Fluffy around the office with a needle.



note DR H's shoes.
he is known for his interesting choice of footwear.
yesterday he was wearing hiking boots.

Fluffy-Fluffy almost expected and hoped that the needle poke to deflate her (she had visions of her screeching across the room in the same looped-a- loop fashion that a deflating balloon travels.) but she didn't. unfortunately, the results aren't that instantaneous. DR H taught Fluffy-Fluffy how to self inject the meds for her lymphatics. she's gonna have to do it every other day for the next 2 months (at least)

wow. fluffy fluffy is so not impressed.
this had better work

maybe on good faith, she will buy DR H a t-shirt that says, "I WAS RIGHT!"


2 comments:

Renee said...

Yikes! Sure hope this works for you too!!!! Whatever it takes, right??!!

Kara said...

Oh, wow! This is great that the fluffiness is leaving your tummy. Sorry it was the navel ring though! Hope the injections prove worthwhile and take your body to the next healing step.