August 24, 2008


I have been fairly up beat given the 'success' of this week.

I've occasionally struggled with feeling overwhelmed and panicky about my fight but overall I've felt more like my old, optimistic self again. And looking in the mirror, I have felt like i am finally starting to llk like me again. That is a nice feeling. This is the best that I have felt in a very long time. By far. this has been encouraging and a long time in coming.

I have even given myself over to speculation that I may possibly be back at the place i was in March. Which was when i was at about the 8 week mark of my first round of IV treatment. however, one really never knows and I am somewhat reticent to get too excited as things can change for better or worse all in the blink of an eye. For example, after having a fairly 'functional' week, I was hit hard with an exacerbation of symptoms yesterday afternoon. It was bad enough to put me back in bed for pretty much the rest of the day and evening.

Self preservation dictates that I must still take one moment at a time. This weeks glimpse of the light at the end of the tunnel could be clouded by another intense herx. One that once again casts me into a pit of pain and despair. however, I will choose to Trust God through each painful free fall. I am confident that he will see me through.

Besides, when my heart is overwhelmed it makes me more aware of my need to take refuge in the shelter of His strength.

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